By my standards

I feel like I can't really do any better. This past week has been nothing but amazing surprises, realizations, and introductions to many new things in my life.

My birthday came by saying good bye to my first friend I made out here in Palm Springs. Moving on to bigger and better things in his life and chasing his dreams in Los Angeles. It was bitter sweet... until after bar number 3 on Christmas Eve... and maybe five or six birthday shots later.. it just became.. fun.
Dinner downtown with my mom, and late night munchies with my friends out in Rancho Mirage. Running down El Paseo in Palm Desert, laughing, and singing Elton John at the top of your lungs is something I needed in my life. I was surrounded by white lights, window shopping, a spiked hot cocoa and a few good people.

Christmas morning came with a trip to Borrego Springs and ahhh. A spa. Three hours of massages, facials, reflexology and mani pedi time. Come on! It can't get any better... right?
Wrong. On our way back home we grabbed my dog, a few CDs and some fashion magazines. A two hour drive to Huntington Beach to see my wife, the Pacific Ocean. Randomly ran into a good friend of mine from San Francisco. Shared an espresso, and talked about life after school. He's studying for his MFA in Photography, and is one of the best one on one talkers I know. There are moments where I feel he really dives into you when he speaks. I feel that he might be too afraid to put himself out there fully, might be his ex-frat boy days stopping him. He's a total wild card and I love going out with him. Always a fun time. Usually a lot of drinks. And theres always good music and dancing involved.

Grabbed tacos (is there anything better than a christmas taco on the beach? I think not), and walked our way down the strip. Found a Dog Beach, and gave Gus the play time of his life. He made a girlfriend, Stella, the French Bulldog. He ran laps around dobermans, and boxers. He pounced on retrievers and.. got very very wet.

I came home later that evening to opening more presents. Low and behold. The only thing I asked for this year- a juicer! My life.. has changed. There's something extremely therapeutic by making your own juice. I've found a new appreciation for carrot juice. And I swear to god I will never buy a $5 bottle of orange juice ever again. Noted- 5 oranges makes 2 days worth of OJ. Pretty good deal. I'll never look back!
What I like about it also is I just FEEL good after drinking fresh juice. I can't wait to find fun, new recipes for juice. I found one for a mango, orange, carrot and blueberry juice.. I'm thinking I'll be spending more time at the Farmers Market.

I spent Monday night with Jaber. SO happy to have him in my life. Seriously such a good friend and all around fun person to be around with. We ended up at Kimi and shared a large bottle of saki, had some of the best sushi of my life, and were pleasantly surprised by a mutual friend of ours showing up. I tried my first muscle, which I have to say wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be. I got happily buzzed, and heated up from the outside, desert cold. We shared conversations on our up coming trip to San Francisco, music, favorite foods, and current love interests. There really is something truly beautiful to be able to speak to someone of the opposite sex about your interests, with knowing there are no judgements, no biased opinions, and having someone who will really listen to you- not just wait for their turn to talk.

Work has been killing me.. but I'm saving up for my week in New York. And I'm already getting the next three days off. Not too shabby. I'm enjoying working with the PR aspect of my job. I'm also enjoying the fact I'm still employed since we lost 3 people this past month. Knock on wood.

Off to hike with my dog. And just simply enjoy my life. You should too.

What are you hungry for?

I'm hungry for art.
I'm hungry for laughter.
I'm hungry for love.
Not the kind of love for your friends, or your dog, or your family.
I'm hungry for the I love life because I live in it with a certain person-can't stop thinking about you- kinda love.
I'm hungry for music to fill my life and soul.
I'm hungry for living a life where perfection isn't something to strive for.
I'm hungry for a new language.
I'm hungry for late nights and early mornings.
I'm hungry for new architecture.
I'm hungry for new design.
I'm hungry for new photographs.
I'm hungry for dreams.

Time to breathe.

I finished this semester off on a good note. I finished my paper, I got a 48/50 on my written test and a 199/200 on my exam. Couldn't be happier. All this worry is off my shoulders.
I just felt too anxious. I kept putting it off and finally just had to throw my hands up and tackle it.

I feel like I've been finding the most mundane things in my life to get excited over-
I got happy when I received mail. Someone told me I did a good job on our last photo shoot and I just wanted to hug them for just acknowledging the fact I put my all into it. I made flan last night for the first time in 10 months and it was.. the best thing ever.
And out of pure curiosity I tried on my skinny jeans that have been hiding in my dresser for two years. Oh snap. They fit.

I found myself making last minute plans with an old co worker from LA who was in Palm Springs for the weekend last night and ended up at Spencers. It felt like even though we were in the middle of the desert, we were still laughing and drinking like we were back in LA. The best last minute, midnight booze sesh.

I feel now that even though I'm slammed with work from now until Feb., I have so much free time with that one class under my belt. There are a lot of roads and options I want to pursue, so we'll see. A lot of places I want to go. A lot of mini roadtrips to take my dog on.

This weather is really making me home sick. All the fog and cold. Makes a girl miss it.

A time for reflection

Jim in our room at Ace Hotel in palm Springs. The beginning of my journey


I woke up this morning quite early. But I honestly can't complain. I went out the night before and sincerely and truly enjoyed myself. For once I left my phone on silent. I had some drinks. I laughed. I stumbled on my words out of nervousness. Leading into butterflies in my stomach. Which led to rambling. I need to stop doing that. I do it far too often. Which is why I think I'm still single. I just talk too much haha. I wasn't worried about work. I wasn't making lists in my head of what needs to be done. What has to be finished at the studio. What errands need to be run. The deadline of my exam and paper (all within the next 48 hours so now it's really crunch time). I simply enjoyed myself. I enjoyed being in the presence of a really great person. And for once in a really long time I let myself go with no expectations and had one of the best nights in a long time.

I woke up to horrible whiskey breath (why the hell didn't I brush my teeth? Embarrassing), a tiny head ache a cold apartment and four blankets that I then hibernated under for another three hours. I spent the last hour and a half just listening to Pandora on my phone. Listening to acoustic songs and raspy voices sing of loss, love, heartache, and new beginnings. I feel this has thrown me and tossed me around. But in a really good way. I started my year out in the desert. And I'm ending it in an entirely different desert. And I've gained a whole new concept of what independence fully is. I've created this plan of how I wanted my life to lead. And opportunities came up that have changed my life for the better. I've gotten in trouble, but it led to really good things, and making me fight my own battles, and respecting myself for taking care of business. I've gone from someone who would go out 5-6 nights a week, boozing and schmoozing, to rarely even taking a night out to have fun and work a job I literally walked into; I knew nothing about how to run a studio. I didn't know about the photography world outside of school. I didn't know about the business. And here I am now, juggling a professional job at a professional studio, going to school online and working a fun job planning events and parties.

I've grown up a lot this year. Not that I'm all work and no play. Trust. I still like to play.

Globally, this year has been one huge revolution after another. I'm a part of history. I've witnessed amazing things this year. I've experienced amazing things. I've seen so many concerts and shows and raves. I've put a good 7,000 miles on my car. I've made friends all over California, Nevada, Oregon, and New York this year. I've taken so many photographs. I am honestly living such a good life. I really feel like great things are coming. And I welcome them with open arms.