I'm surprised i'm not hungover



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you wove your words and music into my life

Wrapped the blanket completely around my head and managed to filter out some of the noise.
I sometimes pretend that what I am hearing are waves of a violent ocean, pounding against the high coast.
The house here placed on the top of a hill.
There must be some reason why there are such similarities between the sounds.
So the blanket works relatively well. I wrap it around my head, I look like a beduine… I turn off the lights and slowly glide into the darkness.
I have not drawn for a really long time. It is very depressing. I put the pen to the paper and it just does not want to draw. It does not work.

And the fragrant haze embraces us and crawls into us and intoxicates us…
just like music crawls into our ears and makes us hear its vibrations through many more parts of our body…
just like little melodies straighten out a mess of thoughts and put many of them onto the right kind of track…
Some sounds take a bite out of the thought process we have…
I will not listen to music now… I will probably go back to sleep…

So baby let's just sit here and keep me warm

Bob Dylan. Wine. My bestfriend and my fire place. Today will be so great.


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I go to bed

Scribbling lines and thoughts and
Poems that just appear in my mind. Nothing I put on paper will ever come true


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Location:Oak St,San Francisco,United States

The past weeks

Have gone by in such a blur. I need to be in quarentine for a while. All I need is my paper and pen and guitar and film in my camera. It's taking me forever to develop my last roll...




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Location:Post St,San Francisco,United States

I think

In all my misery and all my honesty there will always be a part of you burried deep within me.




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Location:Hemlock St,San Francisco,United States

why does it affect me?

I wish I didn't make such an impact. Because then I wouldn't have to be burdened with this heavy weight on my shoulders. My timing is horrible.

I'm praying my finals go well.

Who the hell can see forever?

What happens
when your pen runs out of ink
and your mind runs out of thoughts
and your mouth runs out of breath
and you sit and you stare and you think
and you live and youre dead but your breathing and
you feel a heartbeat
but you're just there.
what happens
when you give all you can give
and you expect for more than you want
and you get what you want but dont have what you need
and you hear but you dont listen
and you talk but you aren't speaking
and you feel with touch but not your heart.
what happens
when everything is taken from you
and the carpet is pulled from beneath your feet
and you're laying down look up at the ceiling
and you regret everything you could have done
and you wish you had done this or said that
and you wander in your mind and wonder on the ground
and you figure you're in the wrong place at the wrong time
and you are excited and full of joy and aspiration
and you have the breath taken out of your mouth
and the wind knocked out of you
and you listen to songs that bring back nostalgic memories
and you want nothing more to make new, beautiful memories
and you're exposed but you're hidden
what happens
when you have a closet full of clothes
and nothing to wear
and you have twenty pairs of shoes
and you only like two
and you have hobbies and goals and ambitions
but you put other things infront of what you're striving for
what happens
when it's 1 fucking 30 in the morning
and you cannot sleep
and you're worried, and tired, and sleepy, and anxious, and thinking, and content, and drained and hopeful and sore?

Let's deal

i want to be the bones underneath my skin,
i want to be clean and pure and honest.
i want the air to surround me in all the empty space
that circles my body in gentle breaths.
i want to fill the bullet holes you have shot through me
with thick, dry dirt that is rich with seeds
so i can grow flowers in their places to bloom and grow
like roses stained with your lies.
i want my arms to be shaped like tree branches
and extend themselves towards the sky,
reaching for the stars in gallant movements,
they can never fall too low.
i want to purge my body of all my sins
i want to erase bitter-stained days;
let me throw it into the sea and wash it away
so the monsters can swallow it whole.
i want to succumb to this disease
that tugs at my sleeve like some hungry child
but i cannot feed her, i cannot help her,
i need to let her go;
go into me like a faceless ghost
that knows what i want
but gives me what i need.

I stayed up all night

Trying to write you the perfect love letter. The perfect song. The perfect words. But all I could do is dance.

I love Angela.

I haven't updated. But I will now. Because I love my best friend. And I love drinking tequila at 3pm and listening to Devendra Banhart and Sufjan Stevens with her.

I want to go on a trip soon.

Finals are killing me. I want to just hide under my covers.

Life is really amazing though. I am meeting a ton of great people and I'm so happy they're in my life.

And I love my new 210 lens. Fucking finally.