I haven't posted in a while

I'm feeling out of it
I'm feeling a bit out of my element
And I'm feeling I have no control over what will or is and ever will happen
To me
or just life in general

I thought I made some good decisions but I'm feeling more and more crushed
I think I ran into this with such gumption
Just so I could pave over the feelings and emotions of brokenness
and hurt and pain
Like a quick treatment
I want to tell you the past few months things have been great
But with each day I just get more and more closer to realizing how much
This person kills my spirit.

Which isn't acceptable

I'd always laugh at my best friend telling me he falls in love every day
But now I am almost jealous of how lucky he is
I'd rather fall in love every day and be excited
Than sporadically feel this much pain

I'll try to post more uplifting things
and scan some effing film in. One of these days

Where the hell does time go?

Seriously though? I feel like I had more freedom when I was in school with deadlines and projects creeping up behind me than I do on my actual "summer". I've pretty much just been working 5 days a week and if I wasn't in the city I was in San Jose enjoying some actual SUN.

This summer has been freezing!! Coldest summer by FAR. I'm fairly certain that it will be warmer in September/October than it will be this whole summer. Embarrassing.

I've been writing a lot. Contemplating wtf I should do or want to do after college. Looking are grad schools. Looking at potential jobs or side jobs that would entail me to shoot more. I've been shooting a lot. At least 49 rolls of film and filled up three 8 gig cf cards, it's just a matter of me developing and editing everything. Which I guess I just have to be more diligent about.

I've really gotten into architecture and have been buying and engulfing myself into interior design magazines and architecture books. I recently got an assignment in Alamo to take some photos of a couples home and send them off to their architect. Once I finish editing and making print outs for him I'll post some up here.


Some things I haven't been so good focused on is putting my website together and just re-doing the whole thing. Re-branding myself and editing all these new photos and making everything cohesive. Also I haven't done yoga or worked out in almost 2 months. I feel like dying. And I feel the pudge coming on.

I think I'll get back to editing. I'll report back soon.

Please call me we need to talk.


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I'm a cat

And I'll be back



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

This is a bad fucking dream

And Ill wake up and none of this ever happened.

There's something

That no song can translate. No poem could tell you more beautifully. No message in a bottle would get to you fast enough. Telephone calls won't do it justice. I'm full of love and joy I just hope one day soon I can see your face and tell you. Good news can wait.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

We need to be angels for each other, to give each other strength and consolation. Because only when we fully realize that the cup of life is not only a cup of sorrow but also a cup of joy will we be able to drink it.