I haven't posted in a while

I'm feeling out of it
I'm feeling a bit out of my element
And I'm feeling I have no control over what will or is and ever will happen
To me
or just life in general

I thought I made some good decisions but I'm feeling more and more crushed
I think I ran into this with such gumption
Just so I could pave over the feelings and emotions of brokenness
and hurt and pain
Like a quick treatment
I want to tell you the past few months things have been great
But with each day I just get more and more closer to realizing how much
This person kills my spirit.

Which isn't acceptable

I'd always laugh at my best friend telling me he falls in love every day
But now I am almost jealous of how lucky he is
I'd rather fall in love every day and be excited
Than sporadically feel this much pain

I'll try to post more uplifting things
and scan some effing film in. One of these days